The comment on my community’s social media page that I sympathize the most with is I’m so tired of being lonely. It makes me a bit uncomfortable, but I can relate. Triggered by the end of a relationship, or moving to a new place, there have been seasons in my own life where All By Myself was my sad song, and I had to learn to cope.
Now, during the pandemic, when the same screens that host our meetings at work also host our social interaction, and when face-to-face meetups are less, the disconnection has left many to suffer alone.
If you have been feeling empty lately because of loneliness, let me assure you that you are not alone, my friend, and there are healthy ways to deal with it.
Here are a few that I’ve found most helpful:
First Off, Don’t Go Back To What Broke You
You may be tempted to pick up old situations and bad habits. I would be lying to you if I said this pandemic did not cause me to want to jump in my car and drive right back to that destination that tore me to pieces and left me for dead.
These are the things I told myself:
Others are doing it.
This is insane. I can’t do this.
The world is obviously about to end. Why suffer?
All of these look absolutely ridiculous in black and white, because they are! There is no reason to pick up toxic habits that you already put down. Wash your face. Put on your walking shoes, and move forward. Better is ahead.
Drop The Shame & Guilt
I get it. Being lonely isn’t exactly something to feel proud of. Regardless of its negative stigma, it’s hard to deal with an issue that you feel embarrassed by. Believe it or not, most of us will deal with loneliness at some time in our lives. Loneliness is not an issue that only certain people deal with. It’s not just for women or only for men. It’s not something designated just for single people, and yes, you can be surrounded by lots of people and still feel alone.
Loneliness is caused by not having as much love and human connection as you would like. It can strike you at any time, so remove the shame.
You are not broken.
You are not too needy, and you are not destined to be alone forever.
Know Your Life’s Vision & Purpose
One of the reasons we struggle with accepting seasons in our lives is because we don’t fully understand the relevance and timing of that season, and how this season connects to our overall purpose. We feel a void because we’ve forsaken who we are and why we are here. Nothing makes sense until we know our why.
To everything there is a season and a reason.
Knowing your life’s vision and purpose will help you to better understand what you are experiencing and why. When you are feeling lonely, take a moment to think about your life’s vision. Reflect on why you are here. This will help you to walk out this temporary period from a different perspective.
Join A Virtual Community & Be Active
What are your interests? Guess what? There’s a virtual Facebook group for that! As an admin of a few virtual communities, I’m going to provide you with some professional tips:
Step 1. Join 3-5 virtual groups based on your interests.
Step 2. Feel the groups out for 1–2 weeks by reading the posts from the admin and group members. What is the vibe in the group? Do you feel safe? Do you like the people? Is it too big? Too small?
Once you know the answers to that, select 2 of your favorite groups. Then become super active. (Most people miss this step.) Be active by posting, participating in group challenges, and commenting on other members’ posts. Once you become more and more involved, you will start to make connections with people who share similar interests to you. Some of those relationships will even go offline.
If You Are Single, For Heaven’s Sake, Use This Time To Date
During this pandemic, one of my friends said dating is now her part-time job. I’m not mad at her! I get it. Use this time to start dating. And don’t just date the same types. Be open to dating new people. You just never know where that facetime coffee date might lead to.
Start A Self Discovery Journal, Vlog or Video Diary
It’s time to go on a journey of self-discovery. Both happiness and confidence come when you begin to understand yourself and learn what your heart desires. Who you are? Did you have a happy childhood? How old were you when you first fell in love? Why do you do the things that you do? Where are you headed? What truly makes you happy?
Take this time to…
- explore your past
- learn more about your personality
- identify what you value about yourself
- ask yourself questions
- discover your passions
Share the experience with others by starting a blog or vlog. Not only will you discover new and exciting things about yourself, but you will also start to connect to people who can relate to your story.
Most Importantly…
Connect with the Father. Oftentimes, we try to fill a “God-size” void with people, places and things. It never works! No human on earth can fill that void. There is no material possession that can fill that emptiness. When you are feeling lonely, remember that God cares for you. He knows about your loneliness, and He is there.
Don’t abandon prayer. It doesn’t have to be long or wordy. Be real, and say what’s on your heart. Above all, remember this is just a chapter in your book. Your story is not over yet.
XOXO
✿ Diamond
Connect With Me
🌺 Follow me on Instagram or Facebook.
🌺 Join my virtual groups: Diamonds Bloom is a group for women who want more out of life than just to exist. Women who want risk. Women who want God, poetry, and art. We will challenge each other, grow together, and celebrate fulfilling our dreams together.
🌺 Introverted Girlfriends is a community (virtual and in person) for introverted women only.